courtesy

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In the Scheme of Things …

Small talk with little substance…”bears no fruit” with casual acquaintances, groups or strangers.

small-talk

There was a study that someone conducted in regard to the attention span of the average listener.  It concluded after 25 seconds if the listeners had no interest in what you were saying… they tuned you out and were no longer listening.  (I am sure that I have made a lot of 25 second speeches without knowing it).  We sometimes initiate questions that promote longer answers (unintentionally) than we are prepared to listen to. For example: “How was your golf game today”? “Well on the first hole I knocked one out of bounds and three putted…then on the second hole”….and so on….get the point. The question that deserves a 25 second or less response… “What score did you shoot today”?

We all ask questions or make statements that are not meant to initiate a conversation…but as a means of politeness or awareness of one’s presence. Such as “How are you today?”… “Have a good day”… “Good golf shot”…etc…all of these can be responded to in no more than one or two words….and should be.

If you are trying to start a conversation that has value beyond 25 seconds…then ask a question to someone who has a source of knowledge to the question you are asking….and then be prepared to listen to the answer. Conversation should be an exchange of ideas or at least a learning experience.  Remember when you are talking “you are only learning what you already know”…and if your dialog extends beyond 25 seconds it should have interest to the other party.

There are some basic rules that we should all engage in such as:

…never ask a question that you know will embarrass or make the other person feel inadequate.

…questions concerning religion and politics are not good topics…if you know the other person’s views are different from your.

…having an opinion and elaborating on something that you know nothing about is more dangerous than not having an opinion at all. This one is a confirmation to the statement “I thought he was smart until he open his mouth and removed all doubt”.

…people usually would prefer talking about themselves or their own experiences with you listening …rather than listening to you talk about yourself.

Now I have just stated what I believe to be the proper protocol for starting an intelligent conversation with a casual acquaintance, group, or a stranger in the proper setting.

With that said… if you should run into an “old friend” that you haven’t seen in some time… in an informal setting such as on the golf course or like…none of the above applies…the proper greeting would be to extend you hand for a hand shake, smile and verbalize… “Damn you are as ugly as I remember”…It’s a guy thing…we wear it like a badge of honor….and it took less than 25 seconds.  Disclaimer: I would not necessarily recommend this greeting to the more intelligent gender…women.

 

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance

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The Six Principals of The Ten Commandants

10-commandments

Religion is a sensitive topic to write about…and I am sure that I will offend some/or most…but that is not my intent.  I asked myself prior to writing this piece “How many religions are there in the world?”…so I Googled the question and was surprised at the multitude of answers. The answers ranged from 11 to over 4,000…in terms of organized human religious beliefs.  Obliviously in the end it boils down to the acceptance of one’s own definition of religion and belief….which brings me to this point…

With so many contributing factors that create wars and unrest in the world that stem from a combination of politics, greed, power, and suppression why is it that the religious aspect always seems to be attached to the conflict regardless of the complexity of reasons.

I was taught that religion is a spiritual belief of faith…and that there is a better life after this world…if one believes. So why should there be so much conflict about religion in this world…that is a matter of another world?  There are elements of each “religion”…that end up producing a better afterlife…if you believe. I find it interesting that the people that “do not believe”…find religion annoying and want to alter the principals of the “believers”… and the “believers” want to impose their beliefs on the “non believers” or other religions that are different from theirs. . Confusing?…yes it is, but in the end it is not about religion on this earth…it’s the fear that each is going to dominate the other and impose their values, beliefs and life style on their way of life….its about political structure and the fear that the one with the most power will rule over the other.

My Son pointed out to me in a conversation that we were having…that the last 6 of the 10 commandants really have more relevance to respect, goodness and human rights than a reference to an afterlife affirmation.  Even though I am ignorant of the teachings of the different religions I do recognize the goodness of individuals that try to live by the principals of those six commandants.

If each individual…regardless of religion… adopted the “last six commandments as principals” to live by…this world would be a much better place.

Johnny J.

 

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

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When understanding…was simple

the-simple-lifeI grew up in a time when understanding…was simple.

Prime example is the first twelve years of my formal education. I knew in advance that the purpose for attending school was to receive an education in order to improve my chances of becoming successful.  The word “successful” is a subjective word meaning different things to different people…which we will discuss another day.

Ok….let me backup a little…in the first few years of my education I couldn’t even conceive the words that I just used above…must less spell them. The first few years were spent learning (without my awareness) to interact with other kids, structure, sharing, respect for authority, discipline…and heartache.  Yes…heartache, there was a little girl in the third grade that was cute that had absolutely no interest in becoming my girl friend.

Beyond those first few years I gained the “simple understanding” of several things. If I didn’t listen and study…not only would I not learn…but there would be consequences. I would not be promoted to the next grade level with my friends if I didn’t meet the minimum academic requirements… that my family who cared about me would be disappointed… that it was my fault that I didn’t pass because I didn’t apply myself because of my priorities.  I had a great deal of respect for my teachers and their attitude toward us as developing individuals. That respect never wavered…even when I was sent to the Principal’s office to have my ass whipped…that’s right …have my ass whipped.  I didn’t need a thirty minute lecture or therapy session with the Principal, I knew what I had done was wrong and I new the consequences beforehand…it was my choice.  I also knew when I got home that my Pop would not be going to the school the next day to try and have the Principal fired…but that he would just whip my ass to reconfirm the Principal’s action.  I began to make better choices after a couple of those sessions.

This was also an age that you learned in life that everything was not necessarily equal.   I am hesitant to use the word “fair” because to me that meant you “cheated or didn’t play by the rules”. Today I feel that word is used more too express “resentment or entitlement”. It was a time…if you didn’t win your ball game…it’s was because the other team was better that day. It was fair…it just wasn’t equal on that given day. You also realized that your physical skill level may not be equal to some of your team mates, but you didn’t resent their talent…you used it as an incentive to play your best.

The first twelve years of my formal education was for the purpose to help me reach a level of knowledge and understanding that should benefit me in making choices in the “real world”.  There would no longer be a bell ringing every 50 minutes to direct me to the next event of my life… it was my time to make my own choices in life…the understanding was simple.

Johnny J.

 

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

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Definition of pandering… “as I view it”

nobull2To cater to the lower tastes and desires of others or exploit their weaknesses: “tell them what they want to hear…manipulate them…lower your owns standards to appease their egos or self-importance.”

Courtesy should always be extended…until it crosses the line and becomes pandering.  In regard to respect…it can not be demanded..nor earned…it can only be given…give it wisely and truthfully.

NOPANDERINGHERE  I tell the truth “as I view it”…you don’t have to agree…no problem…prove me wrong…I don’t care…but I will never agree for the sake of agreeing. 

We can disagree and both be right (or wrong)..that’s okay… but I remain true to my convictions until proven wrong..and if so…I will be true to the truth.

NO NONSENSE-NO BULL-COMMON SENSE APPLIED

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.