“Fork in the Road”… “People, Places and Events”

Age constitute a series of chapters filed with people, places and events in one’s life with the passing of time.

As one gets older there is a tendency to bring into focus the “memories” of those events. For a moment separate the memories of those events from a specific decision that you made (or someone made for you) that led you to where you are today….that decision probably created the majority of those memories good or bad.

With that said…I thought that I would back track and try to identify the major “fork in the road” that has led me to the present.

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I now live in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metro-Plex area of Texas…and have for the majority of my life (at my age it is safe to say the majority).  After college I was given a job opportunity that provided me a choice to move to one of several different cities in Texas…San Antonio, Houston and Ft. Worth.  I chose Ft. Worth because I had a brother that lived there at the time. Even though my brother and I had no direct conversation that influenced me to move to the area…the fact is “just because he lived there”…I made a quick decision at that time that has since fill the majority of my life…(he moved out of State less than a year of me moving here).

I could have just as easily chosen Austin, San Antonio, or Houston….but I didn’t. That one decision led me to all the people and events that have filled my life since.  Any other decision that I would have made at that time would have led me to a life filled with different people and events. To me its mind boggling to think for example…if I had moved to Austin at that time in my life…Where would I be today?  That one choice…that one turn in the road…has filled the majority of my life and has influenced who I am today.

Take a moment and reflect on a decision that you made…or didn’t make…that brought you to where you are today.  I not talking about the events that may have influenced the changes in your life…but the one major decision that you made that led you to the surroundings of where you are today.

Someone once said, life is what happens as you are making plans…our every day life becomes a bumper car ride with people and events being the rails that keep us on that continuing path.

If you under 30 years of age…there is a possibility that you haven’t encountered that major “fork in the road”…only detours…and only time will tell.

If you have reached an age where there is more time behind you than in front of you…then I  challenge you to isolate the ‘fork in the road” …and then wonder…what if? 

 

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance

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BMFD

ImageWhat do a pre-school child (4 to 5 years of age) and a super senior have in common?

There is a good possibility…it’s a Brain to Mouth “Filter” Disorder (BMFD).  In one… it has yet to be installed and… in the other… it could be worn out.

When you were four years old you probably had a tendency to repeat things that you had heard that may not have been appropriate…or innocently expressed how you felt without any consideration of others.  If you are in your super senior years…you may have a tendency to verbalize what others would consider inappropriate…but you don’t care… “you say what you mean…and mean what you say”.

Somewhere in between these ages most people develop a “filter” within themselves… that prompts them to ask “Is this an appropriate thing to say”?  Now of course…we all know some people that have traveled through life without any “filter” at all…which could be more disturbing that we care to explore.

As one ages the “filter” that processes the intake of information prior to responding becomes less effective and results in quicker, honest, and sometimes hostile and more direct responses.

Example: (Joe at the age of 40 having a conversation with his 40 year old friend Fred).

JOE:  “Fred what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

FRED:  “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE:  “That’s very insightful…I have never viewed it from that prospective”.

Joe 40 years later asking the same question… to a “forty” year old friend Tom.

JOE:  “Tom what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

TOM:  “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE:  “You stupid SOB…I can’t believe that anyone could be so damn stupid to think that way”!

 …I believe that you get the point.

The real question is: Has Joe gained more knowledge to change his point of view or has aging just brought on a more aggressive behavior?  We could continue with more questions…but the complexity of the answer is never simple and would need to be analyzed on an individual bases.

I recall a certain individual that I meet in college…and after several conversations…I thought that he was the stupidest individual that I had ever met (please do not confuse intelligence with education).  By circumstances I had the opportunity to meet him again 40 years later in a business environment…and in spite of his education and life experiences…in my opinion he is still the stupidest individual that I have ever met.  Aging does not always bring wisdom with it…sometimes it’s just a process of getting older.

Have you checked your “filter” lately? Check it for tolerance and understanding…but never let it filter out truth and honesty.

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

Success vs. Success

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If you look for a definition of success you will find multiple explanations or interpretations that usually lead to more questions.  The general acceptance of success is defined as…

“the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status”.

The most interesting question is the simplest of all “What does success mean to you?”

Success is not the same for all people…the most common perception is…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.  The other side of the coin could be described as self-confident, contentment, awareness, fulfillment…knowing “who you are” is more important than “how other people perceive you”.  We are all wired differently and it’s not that either of these two or correct or incorrect…and if a person possesses a combination of these…so be it. I believe that personal success is only obtainable when you “reach” an understanding within yourself.

Here lies the purpose for this thought:

We are taught at an early age to strive and plan for success…and specific people were pointed out as examples that had reached that plateau…only to find out later in life that some of those examples were the most insecure, unhappy and self-destructive individuals that you could  possibly imagine.  Perception does not always reflect reality…contrary to the over used phrase of “perception is reality”.

Surface observations do not always reveal the truth.  It reminds me of the old line “are you going to believe me or you’re lying eyes?”  If you judge an individual only by fame or fortune rather than by ones’ self contentment …then you may be judging a false sense of success.  I have seen individuals that have achieved monetary wealth and fame…and yet still strive for other people’s approval and acceptance because of their own insecurity.  Success is not a group-awareness but self-awareness. In my opinion the more important question.. as it pertains to “success” is simple… “Have you achieved self-confidence and happiness within yourself”?

It is never too late in life to achieve success…sometimes the achievement is the “discovery” not the intended journey.

 

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.