March 16, 2014 by nopanderinghere

Where do you live?

This question doesn’t pertain to a geographical area…but one of your mind-set and reality.

Even though our body lives in the present, our thoughts and decisions do not always follow it’s lead.

In my opinion there is no right or wrong answer to this question… and its above my pay grade to judge, but I do find it interesting to analyze myself as well as others based on their actions.

If you should decide to do the same consider the three components of past, present and future. Start with a 100% and start moving the scale based on your mind-set and the decisions that you make in your daily life….and analyze the results. If the end result doesn’t provide a form of contentment within yourself …just remember only you have the ability to change it.

I know many people who live the majority of their time in the past. When you are around them they are always reflecting on the past and most of their conversation always starts with… I remember when…They retain the same small circle of friends that they have brought with them to the present to relive those past moments ever time they get together. Current events or future plans are very seldom discussed…unless it’s a conversation about when they plan to get together again.

I am a person who lives the majority of his time in the present. There are many poetic clichés that I could use to reference this…but I won’t. For me…the past is the past…I can’t change it…its over. I do have what I refer to as 15 second flashbacks …some are painful…some are happy moments but the more time you spend there the more you steal from the present. The future for me is about 2 weeks from the present. Is this a healthy environment to live in?…probably not if you ask an economist or financial planner. I have become comfortable and content with my life… by doing what is necessary in the present… to produce the financial means for that comfort.

The people that live for the future are some of the most optimistic people that I know. They are certain that there is a future and are constantly preparing for it. These individuals tend to lose site of “living life in the present” by only preparing for the future…and when (and if) their definition of the future arrives unfortunately their health and physical condition may prevent them from enjoying the fruits of their labor. The only thing that I am certain about is that the past is gone… the future is not guaranteed and at the time I wrote this…there was a present.

So…back to the original question…where do you live?

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

March 22, 2013 by nopanderinghere

BMFD

What do a pre-school child (4 to 5 years of age) and a super senior have in common?

There is a good possibility…it’s a Brain to Mouth “Filter” Disorder (BMFD). In one… it has yet to be installed and… in the other… it could be worn out.

When you were four years old you probably had a tendency to repeat things that you had heard that may not have been appropriate…or innocently expressed how you felt without any consideration of others. If you are in your super senior years…you may have a tendency to verbalize what others would consider inappropriate…but you don’t care… “you say what you mean…and mean what you say”.

Somewhere in between these ages most people develop a “filter” within themselves… that prompts them to ask “Is this an appropriate thing to say”? Now of course…we all know some people that have traveled through life without any “filter” at all…which could be more disturbing that we care to explore.

As one ages the “filter” that processes the intake of information prior to responding becomes less effective and results in quicker, honest, and sometimes hostile and more direct responses.

Example: (Joe at the age of 40 having a conversation with his 40 year old friend Fred).

JOE: “Fred what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

FRED: “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE: “That’s very insightful…I have never viewed it from that prospective”.

Joe 40 years later asking the same question… to a “forty” year old friend Tom.

JOE: “Tom what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

TOM: “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE: “You stupid SOB…I can’t believe that anyone could be so damn stupid to think that way”!

…I believe that you get the point.

The real question is: Has Joe gained more knowledge to change his point of view or has aging just brought on a more aggressive behavior? We could continue with more questions…but the complexity of the answer is never simple and would need to be analyzed on an individual bases.

I recall a certain individual that I meet in college…and after several conversations…I thought that he was the stupidest individual that I had ever met (please do not confuse intelligence with education). By circumstances I had the opportunity to meet him again 40 years later in a business environment…and in spite of his education and life experiences…in my opinion he is still the stupidest individual that I have ever met. Aging does not always bring wisdom with it…sometimes it’s just a process of getting older.

Have you checked your “filter” lately? Check it for tolerance and understanding…but never let it filter out truth and honesty.

Johnny J.

March 13, 2013 by nopanderinghere

Success vs. Success

If you look for a definition of success you will find multiple explanations or interpretations that usually lead to more questions. The general acceptance of success is defined as…

“the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status”.

The most interesting question is the simplest of all “What does success mean to you?”

Success is not the same for all people…the most common perception is…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status. The other side of the coin could be described as self-confident, contentment, awareness, fulfillment…knowing “who you are” is more important than “how other people perceive you”. We are all wired differently and it’s not that either of these two or correct or incorrect…and if a person possesses a combination of these…so be it. I believe that personal success is only obtainable when you “reach” an understanding within yourself.

Here lies the purpose for this thought:

We are taught at an early age to strive and plan for success…and specific people were pointed out as examples that had reached that plateau…only to find out later in life that some of those examples were the most insecure, unhappy and self-destructive individuals that you could possibly imagine. Perception does not always reflect reality…contrary to the over used phrase of “perception is reality”.

Surface observations do not always reveal the truth. It reminds me of the old line “are you going to believe me or you’re lying eyes?” If you judge an individual only by fame or fortune rather than by ones’ self contentment …then you may be judging a false sense of success. I have seen individuals that have achieved monetary wealth and fame…and yet still strive for other people’s approval and acceptance because of their own insecurity. Success is not a group-awareness but self-awareness. In my opinion the more important question.. as it pertains to “success” is simple… “Have you achieved self-confidence and happiness within yourself”?

It is never too late in life to achieve success…sometimes the achievement is the “discovery” not the intended journey.

March 4, 2013 by nopanderinghere

Good Decisions vs. Bad Decisions

I am a firm believer that the more facts you have…the more prone you are to make intelligent decisions. We sometimes tend to fool ourselves about our preexisting knowledge of everything. You may be very knowledgeable about a particular subject matter which will create a high level of confidence in yourself…but when you allow that high level of confidence to gravitate to something that you know very little about…the old adage takes over “I little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing”.

We are all “ignorant” of various subject matters…but we become “stupid” when we don’t realize or acknowledge that fact. The best advice you can give (if asked) when it is outside your rim of expertise is simple… “I don’t know…but if you would like…I can help you find someone who is knowledgeable in that area.”

I have been in sales all of my adult life…and to me…sales is a simple matter of identifying the need or pain and arriving at a solution that benefits the recipient. Sometimes it takes more than your knowledge to achieve that objective. Get over it…you are not an authority on everything.

I have always found it interesting when talking with someone about a particular subject matter (that I do have some expertise in) that they don’t have a clue what they’re talking about…but they do it with such confidence, conviction and authority. This supports the old adage “when someone thinks you are stupid…remove all doubt by opening your mouth”.

It is not always the right thing to take advice or use someone’s service from someone that you like and respect. The example that I often use is: “I have a friend that is a doctor who I like and respect his knowledge and ability…but I would never consider using him if I needed a life threatening operation”…because he is a dentist.

Knowledge is the most powerful thing when properly applied to your decision making process.

May 20, 2012 by nopanderinghere

“Attitude” good or bad?

Attitude …is defined as an opinion or general feeling about something…a physical posture, either conscious or unconscious, especially while interacting with others…an arrogant or assertive manner or stance assumed as a challenge or for effect.

Attitude is usually perceived as “good” or “bad”…if one appears positive, happy, cheerful, friendly, etc…(You get the point) then he/she is probably perceived as one with a “good attitude”. If one is assertive, loud, unafraid, determined, then one would probably be perceived as one with a “bad attitude”. Ones’ perception does not always reflect reality. Whether you agree or disagree with the content of the message or messenger …it will usually influence your perception. Don’t be afraid to have what could be perceived as “bad attitude”…without it… complacency, fear and political correctness can stand in the way of progress and change which can result in stagnation and eventually erosion…nothing remains the same. The next time you judge someone’s attitude (and we all do) ask yourself “Am I looking at a “hothead”…or a “passionate” person with convictions? Good or bad? Assertions of the “right attitude” will have a purpose and a goal to reach a destination.

Attitude and Diplomacy do not always go hand and hand. Diplomacy can be a long drawn out process with pandering and postponement. My attitude is much like the “old gentlemen” when asked by the store clerk if he wanted the extended warranty with his purchase…he said, “Son, I don’t need the extended warranty…at my age I don’t even buy “green” bananas anymore”. Time is of the essence….cut to the chase…say what you mean and mean what you say… and say it with passion.

“Good” or “Bad” is not the question … the question is; is it the right “attitude”?

Footnote: My wife forward an email one day that I thought was appropriate to this article…it read “Don’t get confused between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are“.